Hi!  Beware its another medical procedure blog!  Read at your own risk!   So...today was mammogram day.  The last time I had one was years ago and it was in the basement of a hospital and we had to wear paper dresses and sit in chairs in a row right along with men in a bustling hallway!  Well, let me tell you things have changed--for the better!   Now, at Royal Victoria Hospital....they have a special unit just for woman's imaging.   There are nice sofas, pretty pictures, current magazines.   And the robes are no longer paper!  They're blue flowery and actual cloth.  However....they do have three holes!   This caused a problem.  Hmmmm.....3 holes, I thought.  One for your arms....two for your boobs????  Two for you arms and one that just dangles for no reason???  I was unclear.  Finally, figured out you put it on like a coat then cover up with the other half.  Anyway, nothing was falling out.....so then you go into the lounge and wait your turn.  Found some nice ladies there who had obviously been here before.  They showed me  the ropes!  I felt better.  Until they said there are two parts to the test.  Two???? I know about the one where the girls are smashed into a vice and bolted down...what else? Well, first, you have a lady who explains self examination.   However...you must sit on a bed ....naked from the waist up and stare at yourself into a mirror!  Trust me, this procedure should never be booked before lunch.....or actually after either!   I tried to avoid mirrors whenever possible.  So....she explains how to do a self exam and you're trying to concentrate but all you can think of is...." Where is my waist?  M y girls are pointing to Mexico...I want to die"...... Once that's over...you move on to the mammogram machine.   I was praying there weren't two sizes of machines....."don't let there be one for oversized boobs...please God"......  (there isn't)   .  Five minutes later you're back in the waiting room with the three holed robe waiting for the results.  Whew!  Then, there's a slight fear that once the girls have been flattened like a pancake that they won't bounce back...but they do.....emphasis on "bounce".         I'm going home to cover up all my mirrors!

Wendy