This morning I was telling Jamie about seeing a couple in a horse and carriage this past Sunday afternoon on my way home...being a somewhat curious person(some would say nosey) I was wondering what their story was and what event lead them to be tooling around in a horse and buggy, looking giddy with happiness on a fine Sunday afternoon,..
Well, thanks to Terry for clearing it up for me this morning. Terry is a friend of the couple and was a guest at the event in question this past weekend...the couple's names are Carolyn and David Gray...and the story...is that after 19 years of marriage they decided to renew their wedding vows in their backyard by the pool with their two boys standing up for them...
Being curiously nosey, I asked Terry off the air why they were re-newing their vows on their 19th anniversary and not their 20th...the more traditional milestone. Her answer choked me up...without going into detail..I want to protect their privacy...Terry basically said that the reason they chose this year was because one of the two of them was ill and that there were no guarantees that there would be a 20th anniversary...
I know that I dont know this couple and they very likely have no idea who I am but...I was overcome with emotion at hearing this news...but not in a sad way...I was filled right up to the brim with the beauty of their obvious love for eachother....here is this couple who obviously have been dealing with the worst kind of stress...somehow pulling it together...and throwing a huge party to celebrate their love for eachother...what an incredible gesture...to eachother...and to their friends and family...
I know personally how hard it is sometimes to find moments of grace in times of heartache...when you find them though...they can transform any of life's tradgedies and turmoil into something of beauty...I see evidence of it all of the time...and I saw evidence of it this past weekend...so I say thank you to Dave and Carolyn...who showed me and many others what it means to grab every moment and make the most of it...and that no matter what...there's always something to celebrate...and I'll say a prayer that both of you will be celebrating your 20th together...book the horse and carriage:)
I wish I could say that this story had the fairytale ending I and so many others had so fervently hoped for but...as we've all learned in this life...sometimes the hard way...not all stories that start out like a fairytale...end up that way...and in this case...I am saddened to have to tell you that David lost his brave fight against brain cancer on March 13th...I have included the email with the news for you below...as you can see...David's life...was a life well lived...he inspired so many...always gave more than he had to give...and as he did in life... will live on as an example of what it means to be a husband...father... a member of ...and a leader in the community...
Although his story didn't have the ending we had hoped for...I want to thank David for his impact on the lives of the many people he crossed paths with...I think we all learned different lessons from this man and his family...for me...the lesson learned was that life truly isn't a dress rehearsal...when push comes to shove...we get one crack at this thing called life...sometimes you dont get a second chance...sometimes your last anniversary isn't a round number..and sometimes yes...life is dambed unfair...but what we do have is a choice...we can curl up in the fetal position and throw ourselves a pity party...or...we can celebrate...celebrate the little things...a sunny day...a butterfly...a good night's sleep...and the big things...family...friends...the love we have for one another...
David and Carolyn celebrated...they threw themselves a big party in honour of what they DID have...and I got it...truly got it...for the first time in my life...at that moment ...when our paths crossed on that beautiful sunny day in September at the intersection of Grove and Davidson...and I will always be grateful to the Gray's for showing me what it means to really live...your message and your story will never be forgotten...
Angels all around you....
Tara
Message from Cindy James: Hi Tara
Last summer you had blogged about a couple that had renewed their vows and that you had seen in a horse and buggy-happy as can be!
Last Tuesday we lost a great man, a cowboy at heart to cancer. He was a great friend to many, the best and most caring husband to my friend Carolyn and raised great boys - Michael and Cameron with many of his caring qualities.
We are all better people for having known Dave and he has touched our lives in many ways.
He will be missed always, but never forgotten!
Dave you'll always be our hero, but now heaven has a hero too!
David Charles Gray was a "real likeable, loving guy" who went on camping trips with his family and got along with all his fellow firefighters, said a long-time colleague.
Gray, who spent his 23-year career in North York, died March 9 after a battle with brain cancer.
The passing of the 48-year-old acting captain of Fire Station 142 at Jane Street and Sheppard Avenue, who left behind wife Carolyn and sons Michael and Cameron, is recognized as a line of duty death.
"We worked on and off for 10 years or more," said Acting Captain Michael Russell of Fire Station 142. "He lived in Barrie but worked in North York. He was a great guy, a loving guy and got along well with the other guys. The guys respected him."
Gray was diagnosed with brain cancer in November 2008 and had surgery to remove the tumor, Russell said.
A second operation was performed in March 2009 after the tumors returned. The cancer came back for a third time several months ago, Russell said.
"There was not much they could do for him at that point," he said.
Gray succumbed to the disease at Hospice Simcoe in Barrie.
"It hit us pretty hard," Russell said of Gray's initial diagnosis. "Not that any cancer is good, but brain cancer is not a good one to get. It seems to be quite high among firefighters and we aren't sure why. Originally he wasn't given very long to live but he did get some quality time with his wife and family. It got to the point where he had so many tumors in the brain that all they could do was make him comfortable. I know he's missed by many. He was still a young guy at 48 for cancer to take his life."
According to the Canadian Fallen Firefighters Foundation, the last time a Toronto firefighter's passing was classified as line of duty death was in 2008 when former District Chief Bob Leek, 55, collapsed Aug. 10 on scene of a propane gas explosion at Keele Street and Wilson Avenue.
Gray's funeral was held Saturday, March 13 in Barrie.